Wipe, or clean?

I went to the supermarket on Saturday with the missus - it's a detestable fucking chore but it's one of those sacrifices I have to make in order to watch the weekend football without incurring any GBH to the earhole. To be truthful, the whole experience is not without its merits as there's normally an ample amount of cleavage on show, so much more than you'd find in an Irish joint.

Anyway, the last item on the shopping list was bog roll. I'm really not that fussy when it comes down to it - I'll gladly wipe my arse with yesterday's newspaper if there is fuck all else available. The missus, on the other hand, is a tad more discerning. As she went through the entire inventory of, 2 ply, 3 ply, scented, unscented, I proposed an idea to break the monotony - what if you were allowed to actually test the product right there in the aisle? Just whip down your trunks and give your hole a good wipe before committing to the purchase.

Disregarding my wife's obvious disinterest in my new idea, I continued to babble on as we reached the checkout. As a young girl scanned our goods I asked the missus if there was a Spanish equivalent for the word wipe, as in, to wipe one's ass. She gave me a blank stare and replied that as far as she knew they only used the verb, to clean. One of the supermarket lads then came over to put the stuff in bags, and as I was giving him a hand I noticed that the wife and the young girl (now blushing) were having a chinwag and a good laugh. Turns out that she studies English at university and never knew that the verb, to wipe, could be used in that context. Just goes to prove, we really do learn something new every day.