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Sunday, 18 March 2012

Old people fuck faster than...

people walk, over here.

I have absolutely no tolerance for how painfully slowly people walk in this part of the world.

I was in a shopping centre (mall, whatever) yesterday afternoon and I spent most of the time mumbling fuck, shit, bollocks whilst stuck behind slow traffic. I got particularly vexed when I couldn't get by two bints eating ice creams and talking shit whilst moving at the speed of a couple of arthritic snails. I then observed some tart, deep in mobile phone conversation, shuffling up to the escalator only to find that she was trying to go up the one that was going down.

People should really be expected to pass some sort of 'walking coordination test' to prove that they can maintain a certain speed whilst carrying out some basic manual task.

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