It was lashing down the other day so I jumped on a passing bus. I was well fucking pleased with myself as I was able to find an aisle seat close to the back of the old bone-shaker. As we trundled along, more sodden passengers climbed on until the bus was full to the fucking gills.
Some punter was forced to support himself using the back of my seat - he was stood square to my shoulder. I'm never too chuffed about my personal space being invaded, and was even less pleased when I realised that his man part was occasionally rubbing up against my upper arm. I can't say for certain that he was an 'opportunist upper arm rapist' but I gave him a "no more!" glare and that was the end of that.
A couple of stops later he got off and was replaced by some bird, resplendent in a classy pair of black leggings, who assumed the exact same position. It wasn't long before her camel's hoof started hovering around the same upper arm area. She wasn't exactly in the best condition but it was definitely a step up from the rogue cock of a few moments earlier.
The hat-trick of body parts was eventually completed when, close to home, some woman got on with her sprog, sat down in the seat across from me, and whipped out one of her floppy thruppeny bits for a feeding session... nice, real fucking nice.
I was on a bus today when some nearby cleavage caught my gaze. Proper bloke that I am, I paused to have a butchers at it before glancing at ...
I was researching some material recently for one of my high brow articles, and absent-mindedly stumbled upon an adult web site. Embarrassed,...
Who amongst us hasn't been caught short when outdoors - when you gotta piss, you gotta piss, right? Besides, your mum always told you it...
I've always loved the whole airport, flying thing - I feel like a little kid again when I turn up at the airport, especially one I'v...