Popular Posts

Saturday, 17 September 2011

On the Bus

This isn't to be confused with the classic 60's/70's British sitcom starring Reg Varney et al.

I got on a city bus this morning - it was hot, the vehicle was full to the hilt, and questionable odours filled my nostrils. Some old cunt was standing under my own questionable armpit, muttering something offensive about foreigners. I started thinking that it would have been better to flag down a taxi.

We got to the next stop and a few more people piled on, one of them being a rather tall, black woman wearing a low cut blouse and skin tight jeans - as my old mate Nobby would have said, "not too shabby."

The bus pulled away and everyone started jostling for a comfortable stance. As we all started to settle again, I became aware that myself and the aforementioned shapely sort were now standing back to back. As the vehicle trundled along, swerving this way and that, I noticed that our assholes were doing more than their fair share of bumping into each other.

Now, we've all been there at some stage in our lives - you let your respective body part have a bit of harmless fun. The question is, how much fun (or freedom) do you allow the body part before retiring it to a safe distance? Here's what I think, based on personality types:

The Shy, Nerdy Type - will be horrified by what all that stuff Sir Isaac Newton invented is making him do. He will remove his offending body part immediately, but later use the incident as ammo whilst jerking off.

The Guilty Type - will let the dice roll a bit longer before being overcome by self-loathing.

The Normal Type - will last a bit longer but won't have the nuggets to stay the course. He'll put the little bit of bus foreplay down to the natural laws of physics, and forget all about it.

The Imaginative Type - will stay in the theatre of combat (convinced that his new butt buddy is up for it as well) until one, or both, disembark. He'll then go home and write a blog about it.

The Entreprenurial Type - will seize the opportunity to make one of those outdoor movies that most of us have seen, but won't admit to.

No comments: